When Ash loses her boyfriend, she is consumed by grief, loneliness and an overwhelming sense of guilt for her role in not only his death, but the deaths of everyone she has ever loved. Refusing to let anyone in for fear of losing them too, she becomes withdrawn, spending her days reliving the nightmares from her past.
Until she meets Luke.
Initially scared by his intensity and interest in her, Ash tries to push him away. But as Luke slowly starts to chip away at the walls she’s built, Ash finds herself doing the one thing she swore she’d never do again — falling in love.
When the familiar feelings Ash had hoped were long buried with her past begin to resurface, she is forced to ask herself if falling in love again is really worth the risk.
I can’t… I don’t… I’m not… Oh my goodness. I’m speechless.
Woah, that was without doubt, the most emotional book I have ever read. I had a constant stream of tears trickling down my face. Every now and then they’d dry up and then they’d just start all over again. I gave up wiping them away because the corners of my eyes were raw!
I cried at 2%! That’s how quickly I was catapulted into this book. Seriously, how the hell does an author get a reader to cry real tears at 2% in? Sam! That’s how!
Sam! I feel like I have truly mourned the loss of Sam and the book doesn’t even start until weeks after his death. That is some clever writing right there. Honestly though, I just read a couple of other reviews on this book and I was tearing up at the mention of him. His letter was what made me a complete snivvling wreck.
‘I would never trade however long I was with you, for anything in the world, because to me, you are the world. You are my world.’
‘Be happy, travel the world, fall in love again and live.’
Something about that just resonated so deeply in me that it just set the ball rolling, buried itself deep in my head and launched me into so much emotion and feeling that I felt like I truly suffered alongside Ash. I even felt an intense sense of guilt when Ash gave in to her feelings for Luke… ‘but what about Sam? Don’t forget about Sam!’ And it isn’t like this has hit a nerve with me, for what it’s worth, I’ve never lost anybody close to me like that, so these feelings aren’t being dug up from some repressed memory or personal experience. The writing was just that powerful!
And then Luke came along. Luke was just as perfect as a character can ever be. I felt like he was sent to Ash from a greater power. He helped her live again. He was determined and resilient, yet so patient with Ash. You could feel the connection even before she did. Like the reader, and the universe, knew that they were meant to be together, that Luke was there to save her.
“I can’t explain it, Ash. I look at you and I just can’t look away.”
Ash was an amazing character to be inside of. The pain that she’d suffered and the circumstances of each one was excruciating. Being inside of her head, she really did begin to convince me that perhaps it was being close to her that killed people… the evidence was pretty damning after all. Ash took me on such a journey of heartache, loneliness, fear and eventually closure, healing and ultimately strength.
He walked into my life and slowly, gently he showed me how to smile again, how to start living again. He gave me a reason to breathe again. Showed me that living was worth it and it was worth fighting for. That it was worth taking a risk and making the choices you wanted to make. That he was choosing me, fighting for me and he wanted me to fight for him, for us.
I adored this book. Although at times, when my cheeks were soaked, my nose streaming and my eyes were stinging, I hated it with a vengance too. But I think that is the measure of a good book, to evoke such strong emotion. This was intensely powerful and will stay with me forever.
And here comes another tear… Natalie Ward, what have you done to me?! Lol! Seriousbook hangover right now.
P.S. Just one little thing I don’t get? How did Sam know to leave her a note if he didn’t know he was going to die?
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